Hello!!!! It is September now. I am entering the fourth month with my company. So far? Let's just say it does not make me happy, does not make me feel like I'm growing intellectually and it does not satisfy my hunger for knowledge. I am definitely not a know it all but I would love to learn and try to know it all (which is IMPOSSIBLE, I know). I am a reader. I might hate studying but I love to learn new things especially something hands-on or technical. Right now, I'm just in the office doing a very tiny research which my company is not good at. everything I learned in Uni I cant use here, because they are so "KUNO". I do not necessarily hate the place I work at but they just need to change and follow the world that never stops changing.
It is hard to land a job now with this economy so what choice do I have? Stay and let me be eaten alive in this working world or quit and do something that I love? Both options comes down to the financial issue. The first one will help me in being better financially and the latter will put me in financial risk. I'm not happy if I stay, but I'm not sure if I can survive and if my family is willing to support me. I am confused, lethargic, not happy and lost. I AM LOST in this ADULT WORLD. I might just hate it. Am I the problem? Not being thankful? I am. God, I am.
Here is what I think I'm gonna do right now. I should read more. writing this seems like a headache. The words I know deep within me, I can't remember. Maybe read more on my industry and learn from there since I cant do any technical things here because they said I am a girl. BULL!!! Just because I am a girl, does not mean I cannot do all the heavy work. This is what I wanna say, "DUDE!!!! I carry mineral boxes during my Viper Volunteer more than most of the guys. nearly non-stop until two lorries were filled (not just me la). And then we had to unload the lorries. and then we have to continue our work. I have muscles and bruises everywhere. Did I complain? No, I was proud of it. Proud of the things that I am able to do."
