exams OVER!!!!

Weee~~~ exams over!! Since last Friday actually. hihi! I'm still in KL wasting time before going back to Sabah to finish my holiday. One month holiday! Mum's here for her business appointments so basically I'm her driver for 4 days. This 4 days will be spent with her only... Don't have the time to meet my friends and celebrate..

Putri went back to Indonesia for good and she will be continuing her degree in Portsmouth University. So we spent her last day here going out and about. First, I pick her up at Chloe's place, then we went to Shah Alam to pack her stuff at her uncle's house then to Uptown Damansara for cupcakes then went back to Chloe's place. End the night with 3 hours karaoke all 5 of us. Jonus, Hashley, Chloe, Putri and me. It was enjoyable night. I just hope I can get hold of all the pictures.  I hope Putri had fun and went back to Indonesia with good memories.. =)

Plans for my holiday.... NOTHING!!! hahahahaa~~

Dear Friend,

I'm digging up all my old diaries so I will be posting things that I wrote a long time ago. Which is kind of funny and interesting to me and I think it will be a few entries for tonight. Enjoy =)

Dearest friend,

Thank you for your time,

Thank you for the chance,

But now I'm done.

I was there,

You were not,

Made me think,

and realized,

You're not worth any of my time.

So here it goes, 

This is what I have to say,

Dear friend,

"I hope I'll never see you again!"

written on 14-12-2009 *2.27am*

Guy Bestfriend

I was reading my old diary from when I was 16, 17. So I got this idea to write about what  I believe in friendship between a girl and a guy.

A lot of people around me told me that it is impossible to be close friends with the opposite sex. I refuse to believe it. I think it depends on the individual itself. Yes, things might get complicated because we are humans after all aren't we? We got confused with the feelings we have. Sometimes I feel weird even towards my girl friends. How come I love them this much? Then I stopped and think if I were to feel this way towards a friend who is a guy I would absolutely think that I might be in love with them when actually the feeling is kind of the same towards my friend that is a girl. But because his from opposite sex, we kind of complicate things for ourselves I must say.

I do think that a guy and a girl can be friends. Whether its best friends, normal friends, exes. We just need time to make sure about what we feel and want each other so bad as friends. I have a guy friend who I really cherish. Things got complicated. Though it hurts me, but I still want to stay as friends after everything. Because I want to have that thing where I'm still friends with him in another 5, 10 years and when we talk about how far we are as friends, we would laugh at all the bitter part of it and smile that we can still be friends after all the years. It doesn't have to be the end to a friendship. Friendship is much more divine, i must say.

And now I have three guys as close friends. Sometimes I do think or feel like I'm in love with them, sometimes there is an awkward moment where we  feel like there might have been something between us. But... BUT! only make a move if you really are sure you have feelings for each other and if you're not then take a step back. That's what I do at least. I take a step back, let everything simmer down to normal and everything is okay.

We do need opposite sex as a friend. Not everything can be talked about with girls. And somehow I do think we all have a little boy in us where we just want to have fun like boys do. Video games, cars, motor bikes or sports. And where to get all those without tugging and pushing your girl friends to have the same hobby? It's to have a few guy friends. Maybe we can have them to talk about what guys think or feel in a relationship when we have problems with our significant other. Whatever it is< I believe that if the friendship is important and you love that person as a friend whatever happen in between of the friendship that can make the friendship be "complicated" should be forgotten because what's important is to have each other in each other's lives.

Taylor's so far~

First Semester, First Year.

*Yakult Factory Industrial Visit*

*Before doing our Lab Experiments*

*doing our project. Solar Watering System*

*the tank. haha. it was hard work!*

Second Semester, First Year

*project bodystorming. C-Mock*

*trying to find the most comfortable way to sleep in the car*

*Groupmate picture for the project*

*Industrial visit. Sime Darby Power Plant*

*Chloe & Putri with me in the middle =)*

Father's Day

Dear Dad,


My source;
of love,
of money,
of wisdom,
of humor,
of tears,
of laughter,
of life.


I'm sorry for;
my spending,
my pushiness,
my tantrums,
my attitude,
my laziness,
my secrets,
my sins.


I LOVE YOU.

Through everything that I went through you were always there to guide me and show me the way. When I get dismissed from the university you were really mad but you chose to keep it silent then giving me a hard time because you know me very well that it will not work on me. You were there to support me in enrolling to another university to start over even though the fees are 10 times higher. You always give me what I need despite my attitude even if you are against what I want. You call me every night just to say good night and I love you. What will I do without you?

Here is my promise to you. I will always and forever love you. Need you. Never forget all the things that you have done for me. I will always take care of you until the end of the day like you did until to day and in the future. I will try my best to graduate with the best result that I can. I will try to find a job and give everything that you want like you did for me. I will try and behave myself and appreciate what you have been through to raise me and not just to throw it all away for some random guy. You are the one and only guy who will ever be THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

And god; take me before you take him away from me. Because I can't imagine my life without him.

Rojak!!!

well, well! lets start with..... I HAVE FINALS NEXT MONDAY!!!!! and here i am updating my blog instead of studying for my finals! haha~ good decision!! anyways, what to talk about for today's entry? hmm.... let me think first.

firstly, its been 2 months since i see him, hear his voice or being in any contact with him. yes, a few times i missed him like hell. but well, life goes on right? now im having fun and filling my time that i used to use with him with something else and other people. thank god for that! or else i would be so miserable. been utilizing my time with my dear akoy and family and getting to know my Taylor's friends.

Their younger and a bit immature but maybe thats the beauty in it. Cause they're always having fun... not much to think about. yet! haha~ even though they're young but i learned a lot from them too. who knows who they will turn out to be in the future. anyways... boring story. lets get to something more worth talking about. which is..... i dont know.

argh!!!! maybe this entry is just me trying to run away from studying. i dont feel like studying. my results for this semester is NOT GOOD. yet im here instead of hitting on the books. what the hell? tell me what the hell am i doing here??? fine, i think im gonna try to continue studying instead of talking crap here and annoying other people. heheh!

oh, by the way, please on the google ads -----> there. so i can get money from google! pretty please~~~ haha!

Die Before Living

Temptation to avoid
From point to no return
A stupid decision;
one stupid decision
An innocent soul have to bear
To live or to die
Decision not his But the weight still sits


To live 
The fault not his
No choice but to live
The name and status he carries
Echoes through his head
Not once;
not twice
But through out his life
BASTARD ; he is.


To die
The fault not his
Choices been made
Wishing to have a taste of life
To laugh, to cry, to learn
Unwanted;
hated
Even before seen
ABORTED; he was.


=07th March 2011=


This does not mean that i hate people who aborted their babies. I try to understand the situation. But the reality is, if you have enough courage to have sex with or without protection whatsoever, then at least have the courage to take on the responsibilities of the consequences of the things you have done. It is true that you aborted it for his/her own good. That you do not want it to live in a NOT perfect family or excuses as such. But know that you are also killing a life. What id the difference between you and say, a cat killer? She just killed a cat on the other hand you killed a life. A future human. Who knows what future holds for him/her.
But if any of my friends facing this kind of decision in their life. I want to say, keep it. But if you have to abort it, it is your life and the guilt is on you. Think about your future kids. They might have a brother or a sister that they do not know and will never know. Carrying this big secret on your shoulder for the rest of your life. Good luck. But as a friend i will be here for any of you. Listening. Making sure that you do not do any stupid stuff. But till my last breathe, i will never agree to the decision that have been made. Never did. Never will. I will be a good friend. Being there for you. But I will never say it is okay. it is gonna be okay, or you should forget about it. NO.